Still not home...

This past week was EFY and it was amazing!!! Our company name was Not Ashamed and boy did we have fun with that haha. We won the banner competition and got second in the cheer off. This was the first time ever that our company bonded and came together so quickly so that was pretty cool. My roommate this year was amazing. Her name is Emma and she is from England! We would stay up way past our bedtime just talking and stuff. We regretted it in the morning but it was worth it haha. We had awesome counselors this year as well: Kevin, Annie, and Abbie. Kevin, I swear, looks exactly like Mr. Incredible!! And he has THE sweetest dance moves ever lol! Annie was a first time counselor and she did an awesome job, and I didn't get to know Abbie very well...sad.

This past week enabled all of us to grow spiritually and come closer to Christ, and it did just that. Every where we went the spirit followed and it was just awesome! But we learned that we can feel that anywhere so I'm going to work on that. I am definately going to apply to be a counselor as soon as possible!

I was home shortly today...for like a half hour...and then it was back on the road for me and my mom. We planned this trip to go see my grandparents one more time before I left. I leave in two weeks!!! Crazy! I really didn't want to come here though because of my Aunt Cherie. She has been put on an hourly morphine drip and they inserted a catheter. Her breathing is very difficult, she cant really open her eyes, she cant speak, and the doctors said it wont be long now.

We went and visited her before we officially left and I got time to just talk with her alone. I wanted to make sure that she knew I loved her...When I touched her hand and told her who I was, she tried to open her eyes, and as I talked to her I could tell that she was crying too. Its hard to see her in this condition but I know I will see her again where she wont be in pain and she will be herself again...

So now I'm sitting in my grandparents living room just typing away...but now I'm going to get some sleep. Night.

mixed emotions

So a friend told me I should start on of these...why not?

I would have to say that this week has been one of the most difficult ones I've been through: my really good friends moved away, I'm roommateless (it's a word now, trust me lol) for EFY, and I just recently found out that one of my close relatives won't be around much longer. Everything just seems to keep adding to the pile and its going to take me a while to sift through it.

And here's something I don't get...Why is it that when someone I really care about is going through a rough time and they don't make the greatest choices, why do they push me away when all I want to do is be there for them and help them? Do they think I will just walk away from them and want nothing more to do with them because they made wrong decisions? Because I won't and would never think about doing it because I love them too much. I'm sick of the goody-two shoes appearance people seem to think I radiate. I'm not gonna go run off and become a problem child because of that, but i just want everyone to know that I'm not perfect either!! So how could I judge you and all of your wrongdoings when I'm not perfect? ...And it hurts, it really does hurt to think that I might not see them again even though I've tried countless times to stay in touch...I don't even know anymore.

Yeah so thats just a little of what I'm feeling right now... Tomorrow should be fun though, its the start of EFY!!