Perspective.

It's funny to see how things change over time. Perspectives, wants, desires, life goals... I've realized my pattern of not being able to stay put in one place for very long, which doesn't do well for jobs or housing arrangements.
I am yet again at a point where I feel the need to move away from the 6 month life that I've created here in Clearfield. It doesn't, nor has it ever felt like home to me. My relationships are mostly superficial, my jobs are far away, my people live south of me...I just want to be where I am supposed to be and I no longer feel like it's here anymore. Was I supposed to move here six months ago? Yes, I truly believe so. Have I learned things here that I wouldn't had I stayed in Salt Lake- Absolutely. For one, to stick up for myself in relationships. Two, I have spoken more times in this ward than in the past 5 years combined and it really isn't all that bad or nerve wracking anymore. Three, I have realized my potential as a member missionary and I am grateful for the opportunity I had to serve in the Ward Mission here.
I have made good friends here and some better memories...but it's time to move on. It's funny how your mind and body just know when it's time to go. I start to get restless when I am supposed to do something. An idea comes to me, and it may seem ridiculous, but it's persistent. Then I start to yearn for new experiences and things that the area that I'm in can't offer me anymore. The fourth thing I've learned since being here is to align my desires with the Lord. I used to want so much control over my life, but whose life is it really? I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the Lord...I wouldn't have the opportunity to live with Him again if it wasn't for the Lord. Could I stay where I am? Sure could. Is it where the Lord needs me still? I don't think it is anymore. I could be wrong. These could be my desires poking through. We will see what works out and what doesn't in the end. All I know is that I want to be where I am needed and can be of good use.